Good Night Prayers
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, ” God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless More »
Gun control response
For those that don’t know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian. General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns More »
Five Rules to Remember in Life
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name. 3. Help someone when he More »
IRS
IF YOU PAY TAXES… YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS ONE!!!!
The Internal Revenue sends their auditor (a nasty little man) to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.” “Yes,” answered the Rabbi.
“Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?” he asked.
“A good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker. And every now and then, they send us a free box of candles.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he’d try another question, in his obnoxious way…”Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi calmly, “we actually collect the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.
“Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions? ”
“Yes, here too, we do not waste,” answered the Rabbi. “What we do is save up all the foreskins. And when we have enough we actually send them to the Internal Revenue Service.”
“Internal Revenue Service?” questioned the auditor in disbelief.
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi, “Internal Revenue Service. And about once a year, they send us a little prick like you.”
Good Night Prayers
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, ” God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa.”
The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?’ The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, “God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma..”
The next day the grandmother died. “Holy crap” thought the father, “this kid is in contact with the other side.”
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.”
He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe
in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late. What’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!”
Gun control response
For those that don’t know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian.
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one
of the best comeback lines of all time.
This is a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster
and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting
his military Headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when
they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even
touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
The broadcast went silent for 46 seconds and
when it returned, the interview was over.
God I would pay money to have seen her face…;
Mike’s 2013 Road Racing plan
Here are the races I’m going to plan for in 2013. After July 1st, I won’t be able to plan much of anything, so here goes.
- Saturday, January 26th – Ace Speedway
- Saturday, February 2nd – Ace Speedway
- Saturday, February 9th – Wolfpack Classic RR
- Sunday, February 10th – Wolfpack Classic Crit (if it’s not collegiate only)
- March 2nd/3rd – Carolina Pain Inst. Race Weekend, Winston-Salem, NC.
- March 9th/10th – Blythewood Omnium, Bllythewood, SC
- April 6th/7th – App State Race weekend, Boone, NC
- Saturday, April 13th – Dilworth Crit, Charlotte, NC
- Sunday, April 14th – NoDa Crit, Charlotte, NC
- Saturday, April 20th – Duke U. RR, Durham, NC
- Saturday, April 27th – Tour de Moore RR, Southern Pines, NC
- Saturday, May 4th – Asheboro Crit, Asheboro, NC
- Sunday, May 5th – Denton Crit, Denton, NC
- Saturday, May 18th – Gyro RR, Raleigh, NC
- Saturday, June 15th – Dragon’s Circuit, Pope Air Field, NC
- June 22nd/23rd – NC RR Championships, Southern Pines, NC
Cycling Interval Workout Summary
So here are a few examples of cycling intervals to increase speed and stamina. Intervals shouldn’t be done more than 2 to 3 times per week, as they should be strong workouts for your heart. They following listings can be done while NOT doing group rides.
OPTION #1 – True intervals
This is one of the best interval training workouts you can do to improve fitness. It burns lots of calories in a short amount of time.
How to do it:
- Warm up for 15 minutes.
- 3 minutes at 90 to 95 percent of your maximum heart rate. Max heart rates are ‘usually’ in the 180 range, so somewhere above 160 or 162 bpm. Take 3 minutes active recovery (you’re still moving, but at an easy pace) and repeat the 3 on/3 off pattern 3 to 4 more times.
- Finish with a 10-minute cooldown.
- Bonus benefit: This workout is like weight training for your heart—it strengthens your cardiovascular system, which improves your overall health.
OPTION #2 – Sprint work
This workout is used to increase speed, and increase sprinting distance and intensity.
How to do it:
- Warm up for 15 minutes, adding a few 20-second bursts at the end to prepare for the workout.
- Sprint for 30 seconds at a nearly all-out effort.
- Take 3 minutes active recovery and repeat the 30 seconds on/3 minutes off pattern 5 or 6 more times.
- Finish with a 10-minute cooldown.
- Bonus benefit: Because of its very high intensity, this workout is very short.
OPTION #3 – The Ladder
How to do it:
Warm up for 15 minutes, adding a few 20-second bursts at the end to prepare for the workout. During the work periods, you should raise your heart rate above 160 bpm.
Build and taper the workout like this:
- 30 seconds sprint/30 seconds recover
- 1 minute sprint/1 minute recover
- 2 minutes sprint/2 minutes recover
- 4 minutes sprint/4 minutes recover
- 2 minutes sprint/2 minutes recover
- 1 minute sprint/1 minute recover
- 30 seconds sprint/30 seconds recover
Finish with a 10-minute cooldown.
Bonus benefit: This major calorie-burning interval training plan gives you the best of both worlds—high-octane cardio and muscle-sculpting sprints.
Bubba…
His name was Bubba, he was from South Carolina ….. and he needed a loan, so……. he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an international redneck festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari.
Five Rules to Remember in Life
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.
3. Help someone when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he’s in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Reforming an Obama supporter is like trying to pick up a turd by its clean end.
For Che – Jay-Z and Kanye West
Clicks to the here. Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah, fuckin right, fuckin right, alright.
